False Alarm

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI am the oldest of my three siblings. Shannon is next in line, then Brian. The three of us fit pretty well into the cookie-cutter molds of “oldest,” “middle,” and “youngest.” I could give several examples to prove this point, but perhaps none is better than our individual responses (or lack of responses) to my mother’s alarm going off this morning.

My mom and dad are gone for a few days to visit our relatives, so us three adult children have the house to ourselves. You can imagine the wild times that go on. By “wild” I mean that Shannon’s pet fish (remember Tobias?) is now living on the main level instead of up in her bedroom. That’s about as crazy as it gets around here, unless you count Shannon, Brian, and me using the kitchen table as a “locker space,” as my mother so un-fondly coined the phrase. (Mom, if you’re reading, don’t worry, we’ll have it cleaned up before you come home.)

But back to my point. My mother forgot to turn off her alarm before she left, and since she’s the earliest riser of the family, her alarm started beeping while Shannon, Brian, and I were still in bed. Please note each siblings’ response to this event:

ANNA – I, of course, woke up instantly and expected the worst…. I figured the beeping was either the carbon monoxide or fire alarm. In fifteen seconds flat I thought through detailed evacuation plans and started to have anxiety over whether I’d be able to get Shannon and Brian out of the house before the smoke got too thick. I shoved my glasses onto my near-sighted face, seized my cellphone off the shelf, and leapt out of my top bunk with the agility of Wonder Woman. After maneuvering through the dark halls I sensed the beeping to be coming from my parent’s bedroom and found, to my great relief, that the sound was only that of my mother’s alarm clock. I breathed for the first time in fifty-two seconds and went back to bed, though I was much too worked up to fall back asleep, in fact, twelve hours later my heart rate was still getting back to normal.

SHANNON – Shannon also woke up [almost] instantly. She was probably dreaming about Dalmation puppies and a bit more reluctant to be disturbed. When she awoke to the beeping she thought, “Hmm, I wonder if that’s the carbon monoxide alarm? Cool beans.” Then she went back to sleep, hoping to return to her canine fantasies.

BRIAN – Brian slept quite soundly last night.

There you have it! What further proof do you need? The Connelly sibs are about as classic as you can get.

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